The pull

 

Some days the pull is heavier than others.

If I’m honest, most days heaven never even crosses my mind.

But lately, there’s been death. Illness. Struggle.

And also less dramatic things like the gentle bent toward sin that you can feel when you’re really, really honest with yourself.

I’ve felt it lately – that bent.

It’s not the “big” things that are hard. (I’ve never had a genuine desire to murder someone or steal the Queen’s crown jewels or run a big insurance scam.)

It’s the little things – That small tug of jealousy in your heart. That tinge of desire to gossip. That undercurrent of pride. That hint of dishonesty. That pull to judge. That appeal of self-righteousness. That tendency to be critical.

And that’s when I really long for heaven – for that place where the tug of sin no longer has any grip, anywhere to latch on, any hold whatsoever of my heart.

I recognize my frailty. I’m still so weak, even in my holiness, even in my right-standing with Him.

There are areas yet unsanctified.

It’s only in him that I’m truly home.

And so

my heart

continues to long

for heaven.

STOP.

 

Q for you: Do you think about heaven much? In what way?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited.

 

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About Adriel Booker

Writer, speaker, advocate, and non-prof worker. Happily married city-lover, mama, and emoji enthusiast in Sydney, Australia. Author of Grace Like Scarlett (Baker Books, 2018). View all posts by Adriel Booker

2 responses to “The pull

  • Kathy Joyner

    August 13–
    Woke up this morning–thinking about heaven, not wanting to face a new day with hardly any sleep last night and lots of challenges left behind after my husband’s death in May.
    Reading a book—To Heaven and Back–Mary C. Neal. My strong desire to wonder what eternity is like for my husband so I read anything I can get my hands on (a good librarian–retired so I have the time)
    The pull for me is strong too. I pray for God to pull me in the “right” direction and that may not neccesarily be the direction I want to go each day as I struggle with my sins. Heaven and eternal life with the Lord seems so much better at times then living each day with the struggles that were note here before my husband died. Yet, I know I got up this morning breathing and that means that God is not finished with me here on earth.
    When He is, he will “call me home.”

  • Angela

    I think I’ll print this out and re-read it daily. I, too, feel the pull and pray several times a day for God to pull me back where I need to be. I have to be honest and say I am a little relieved to know that I am not the only one coping with this daily struggle. I’m very guilty of getting so wrapped up in the responsibilities of every day life that I don’t take time for myself and I don’t take enough time to just be still and listen and know that He is here with me. I do think about Heaven, about peace. Thank you for your words.

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