Tag Archives: anger management

Fierce

I had fierce moments of wanting to explode today. Or implode. One of the two.

Being a “single” mom is taking a toll on me and I’m pretty done.

It’s now been seven days on my own with two BABIES who need, need, NEED me all. the. time. and I have 26 hours left.

The boys have been pretty good, but I’m just tired, tired, tired. And that means that little things that shouldn’t be a big deal suddenly appear LARGE.

I’ve never been a violent person, or even a yeller. But today at one point I threw a pair of pajamas on the floor out of frustration. (Levi didn’t see me, I’m glad.) I know it sounds silly—pajama throwing—but internally it was ugly and violent, even if it was just a zippered piece of cotton.

There were also several times where I just wanted to yell at Levi – bark orders, tell him he’s naughty, yell at him to go away. You name it, it probably crossed my mind.

In those moments I try to whisper, as a deliberate way to calm myself down.

And if I wasn’t so opposed to “cry it out” (for the child’s sake), I would have probably left Judah to CIO for mine a time or two.

I can’t remember ever feeling angry before I had kids as much as I do now. They really do bring the best and worst out in you.

And of course I love them fiercely. Much more fiercely than any momentary anger o frustration.

When it all gets boiled down, I know I’m just tired. Tired, and stressed,

And before I know it Ryan will be home and life will be back to normal. (And I’ll just be “normally” tired – haha.) Maybe I will be able to actually get somewhere on our taxes or complete some of my other urgent to-dos that have been piling up.

And hopefully I’ll be able to have a nap, uninterrupted.

26 hours left. For now I’m just remembering to breathe and praying PRAYING for children to sleep so I can too.

STOP.

 

Q for you: My trigger button for anger and frustration is tiredness. What’s yours?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited.
Adriel also writes (using spell check) on motherhood and parenting on The Mommyhood Memos.

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Anger management issues?

I’m not sure if it was just a post birthday crash or the Monday morning blues or just a case of waking up on teh wrong side of the bed… but this morning levi was a crazy man.

he spent most of the morning, not just in tears, but fake crying/sort-of screaming and throwing tings.

Melt down city.

Several tiems I was able to change teh situation and calm him down, but then something else would set him off again.

(Wow, just as I’m writing this I’m realizing that this is his normal teething behavior. Oooops. Didn’t even think to check his teeth. I think it’s probably time to put his amber teething necklace back on.)

[Hello tangent.]

As I watched him this morning – throwing trains, hitting the chair because he tripped on it, etc – I saw so much of myself in him.

I saw my own weaknesses, my own temper, my own raging emotions.

The only difference is I’ve learned how to control them a little better.

There’s many times where I felt like throwing my computer agains the wall, or ramming into a car that cut me off, or losing it at a customer service rep on the phone. (Or throwing my kids out the window.)

The ony thing that holds me back is my own developing maturity and self-control.

Same emotions, different response.

It helps me not to get angry at him when he’s losing it – remembering that he’s feeling the same way I often do, but just doesn’t yet have all the tools to handle or help solve the situation.

So I do my best to difuse, distract, and disciple him in how to respond when things get messed up or broken or hurt.

I’m leanring to keep my cool with him, just as he’s leanring to keep his cool with life.

And i think… maybe my kid odesn’t have anger management issues after all. Maybe he’s just having one of “those” days and needs a little more help to navigate through.

After all, I can relate to that too.

STOP.

 

Q for you: I’m not the only one who wants to throw my computer at the wall sometimes, right? Right? What helps you keep your cool when the pressure’s on?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five is a blog by Adriel Booker. | Five minutes a day, unedited. | 2012 All rights reserved. | Adriel also writes on parenting and motherhood at The Mommyhood Memos.