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I’m having one of those “alien” days.

The kind where you feel like a foreigner in your own land.

I’ve written about this before – about the feeling that you belong, but not quite. The longing for something more.

It’s the hope of heaven. The promise of a real home.

And it’s not that I’m discontent where I’m at.

The opposite really – I love my home, my family, the life we’ve built.

But I know there’s more.

Perhaps it has something to do with returning from a place (Sydney) where I always feel a glimpse of destiny. A something “other” that I don’t even know how to pinpoint.

Perhaps it has something to do with remembering what it’s like to connect with friends from a special (favorite) season of my life.

But whatever it is, the feeling is there. Real, raw, a little bit nagging.

The calm after the storm and the anticipation of the next one all rolled into one.

And I remember that I’m an alien here.

I really don’t belong.

My passport says USA. My address says Australia. But my heart says heaven.

My home is not here.

STOP.

 

Q for you: Do you ever feel like you belong, and yet don’t belong?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited


But somehow

Just when the bottom felt as if it would fall out, friends came through.

Friends bringing dinner. Friends bringing freshly folded laundry. Friends bringing hugs.

It doesn’t take many. Just two or three can make a world of difference.

I’m as tired today as I was yesterday, but knowing there’s people “out there” that come close (or pray) when you’re in need? That makes all the difference.

Baby is still sick. Husband is still sick. Rain is still falling. Laundry is still strung out all over in the living room to dry. Toddler is still stir crazy. I am still beyond exhausted.

But somehow, it feels like it’s all going to be alright.

Last night at one point we had our entire family in our queen size bed. And then we were divided – one parent with one child in our room and one with the other in the guest room.

When it’s hitting the fan you do waht you need to do. That’s called being the mom. (Or dad.)

But wow, am I glad to know that we’re not doing it alone.

How people survive without a support network of friends and family and church is just beyond me.

I’ll just count my blessings, pray for sleep, and try again for another night to let it all go so my mind can rest at ease.

STOP.

 

Q for you: Do you have a good support network in  your life? If not, are you working on it?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited.
Adriel also writes on motherhood and parenting at The Mommyhood Memos