Tag Archives: letting go

Pep talk

I don’t get scared easily.

To be honest, I’ve never struggled much with fear.

But right now? I’m terrified.

An opportunity lays before me that I want to take. So much.

But I also want to run the opposite direction. R-u-n.

All of a sudden these ugly visitors rise to the surface: fear of failure, fear of inadequacy, fear of being out of my depth, fear of rejection, fear of blowing it.

I “make my living” helping people to understand how awesome they are, but now all of a sudden I’m cowering.

I need to take some of my advice:

Face your fears.

Take a risk.

Be willing to fail.

Have faith.

Don’t over think things.

Let go of perfectionism.

Believe in yourself.

Trust God.

An opportunity is just that – an opportunity. It’s up to me whether I embrace it or blow it off.

I’m gonna choose to embrace it, perhaps with a little trembling… but embrace it nonetheless.

Eeek!

STOP.

 

Q for you: When’s the last time you faced one of your fears?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited

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Little baby

He pulls my face and grabs it close. With slobbery lips he leans in, open-mouthed, face-planting.

Pulling back he squeals, pleased with himself, sure of my approval.

Tiny fingers grip my hair, the easiest thing to grasp.

I wince, knowing why so many women cut their hair once the babies come.

His eyes still blue, they sparkle and smile.

Once toothless grin is replaced by little bunny teeth, a sign of growth, of newborn no more.

Happy flailing of arms and kicking of feet tell me that life is good.

Captured by my every move, he thinks I’m the most beautiful person he’s ever known. Also the funniest.

And I love that.

Little baby, so sweet, so small. So strong.

How will you ever be a curious 8-year-old?

How will you ever be a gawky 13-year-old?

How will you ever be an adventurous 17-year-old?

How will you ever be an ambitious 29-year-old?

Little baby, I like you just the way you are.

You’re more mine now than you ever will be. I like it that way.

I’m in no hurry to change things.

STOP.

 

Q for you: Do you have children? How do you see their current age?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited.


Fear and love and letting go

If I’m honest with myself I can see a few areas of fear in my life:

Fear of doing something that I feel is important but turns out to be viewed by others insignificant or a waste of time.

Fear of doing something that has the potential to be much bigger than I think I can handle.

Fear of offending someone by offering an alternative opinion.

Fear of not being able to finish what I start.

Fear of being misunderstood.

All of us have fears, and if we’re not careful our fears can paralyze us, keep us from even attempting to move beyond hte comfortable here-and-now.

As someone who is not typically “fearful” by personality, I’ve been thinking about fear a bit lately. I’ve seen it creep into areas of my writing and sharing and living and… I don’t like it.

Since I’m a Christian, my view of fear directly stems from my understanding of scripture and of God’s character. The bible says that “perfect love drives out fear”. If that’s the case, then I must need more “perfect love” in my life.

I also know that fear correlates with my view of God adn my attitude toward him.

Do I place his opinion above that of others? (In “christianese” we call this fear of hte Lord vs. fear of man.)

So how about facing some of tehse fears? How about trusting on a new level?

How about letting go just a little bit more?

How about choosing fear of the Lord?

STOP.

 

Q for you: What do you do when you recognize fear creeping into your life?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited


Embracing and releasing: The paradox of love

 

Maybe it’s because I wrote Judah’s birth story recently, and then have spent the last ten days on and off editing it (and editing photos), but lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to offer my children to God.

And let me be honest.

I do’t want to.

I want them for myself.

I want to guard them and protect them and hold them as closely as possible.

I don’t want to give them away to anyone else.

And yet I do.

I want the world to know them, love them, reap the riches of all that their lives have to offer.

This paradox of parenthood—of love—baffles me: embracing and releasing. I am given tehse precious little ones to have and hold and raise and then…. I must also release them.

Even parents who don’t share my faith understand this. We know that our children are not actually given to us, they’re entrusted to us… for a time. We are to raise them and parent them well and teach them how to love and be loved…

And then let them go.

What a seemingly impossible task. What a noble task.

One that I hope to do well.

I want my kids one day to be able to turn to me and say thanks.

Thanks, mom, for releasing us to be all that we are.

STOP.

Q for you: How are you deliberate about “letting go” of the people who are most dear to you?

Love,
A

Click Clink Five is a blog by Adriel Booker. | Five minutes a day, unedited. | 2012 All rights reserved. | Adriel also writes on motherhood and parenting at The Mommyhood Memos.


Letting go

Day two of my ridiculous project. Or experiement. Or discipline. Or whatever I’m going to call it

I hope I don’t regret this.

Pushing “publish” on something unedited is not easy for me!! I like the craft of writing – writing and rewriting sentances. Making it better. Improving. But no chance of that here.

That’s good for me too. Learning to let go.

I bet I will learn lots of things (unesxpected things) through disicplining myself to write this way

Letting go. That’s got to be right up there at the top.

I think tomorrow i will decide what I’m going to write abotu before I sit down. At least that way it won’t feel so random. (What have I done? the thought of being boring online for all to see rubs my pride the wrong way,t hat’s for sure.)

Right now I can hear levi running around in the background “poo poo!” he’s saying. Apparently the kid is wanting to potty train himself before getting the green light from mom. In my mind, I don’t have time to potty train right now.

But I suppose there’s one thing I’ve learned in motherhood – kids rarely go according to plans and schedules. Try as I might.

And I’m okay with that – learning to be okay at least. (Again, letting go.)

January is a great time to think about the year ahead – to set new goals. I know many people don’t like resolutions, but I say rubbish. We all need a clean slate, a fresh chance at starting over every now an dhten, and turning the calendar to a new year seems to be the perfect time for that.

I have some goals fo the year ahead. But they’re still solidifying in my mind in their little categories: important, necessary, wishful thinking, realistic, faith-inspired.

Obviously I don’t like to fail, so I’m still weighing up which ones I will “adopt” as the real ones and which will stay on my “wishful thinking” shelf.

Darn timer.

STOP.