Tag Archives: pain

Mentioned with an eye roll

I’ve always been a little on the dramatic side.

Unfortunately, that often has negative connotations when people mention it.

Instead of being recognized as creative and spirited, it’s often mentioned with an eye roll.

It’s too early to tell if Judah will be dramatic. But Levi? Oh, he’s dramatic!

Even now as a two-year-old the way he tells stories is absolutely hilarious. (And mind-boggling.) He acts them out using different voices and fake cries, fake laughter, hand and body motions. The whole bit.

In junior high I hurt myself playing crack the whip with some friends at a slumber party. I cried, and they teased me for “being dramatic”. I spent the next several hours on the couch until my friend’s mom noticed that I was burning up with a fever. Only then did they call my dad to come and take me to the emergency room.

I had fractured my arm. Go figure.

From that point on I tried to never cry when I was (physically) hurt. I wanted to make sure I never gave anyone a reason to think I might be “crying wolf”, so I tried not to cry at all.

“I’d show them,” I thought. “I may be skinny but I’m tougher than they think.”

Years later I was told that I probably couldn’t handle natural childbirth. I just “didn’t have the pain tolerance.”

Um, excuse me??

It’s a shame how we think we can judge and measure and set limitations on other people, based on what we perceive about their personality.

It’s an even bigger shame that we take on and internalize those judgements and measurements.

Now as an adult I’ve suffered many types of pain. Often I’ve not even shared my pain with anyone, for fear of appearing dramatic or weak or even just ungrateful.

Sad really.

But now as a grown-up with my own littles I’m trying to be very deliberate about how I speak around them.

Yes, Levi is dramatic and strong-willed and determined and independent (he’s so much like his mama), but I never want him to sense a negativity in my tone when I comment on those aspects of his personality.

Even though he’s decisive, he’s also very sensitive and very, very creative.

Believe me, it’s tempting to roll my eyes at his dramatics sometimes. But I hope – I really hope – that I’ll be able to nurture his creative and sensitive side (while also helping him to hone his strength and decisiveness) and help him feel comfortable being himself. Even when it does seem  a little over-the-top to the rest of us.

After all, who are we to know what another person is really feeling inside? And who are we to know what they are really capable of?

People are much stronger, and much more fragile, than we often think.

STOP.

 

Q for you: Have you been rolling your eyes at someone lately? If so, perhaps you need to rethink that.

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited

 

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Where’s this pain coming from, really?

For days I walked around, gritting my teeth. Not meaning to, but as a reaction to the pain.

I just could not shake the headache. Not by drinking gallons of water, not by sleeping, not by popping pills, not by a shoulder and neck rub.

Nothing seemed to help.

It was so bad that one night it even kept me from falling asleep. (Doesn’t pain generally do the opposite?)

And then I realized…

Wait, this has happened to me before.

My contacts were in the wrong eyes.

Soemtime last week I must have put them in the wrong side of the case and have been wearing them backwards ever since.

I can still see okay. My perscription from eye to eye doesn’t differ enough to be overt. But the eye strain is obvious in the thump, thump, thump in my forehead and behind my eyes.

I throw them out, start with a new pair.

And I wonder how many times I do this in other areas of my life:

How many times do I make a small change – one hardly noticable – that affects so much?

How many times has one wrong decision brought so much discomfort?

How many times do I carry around hurt, trying to ignore it and hoping it will go away when really it just needs to be dealt with?

How many times do I just need to remove the problem and start with a fresh perspective?

How many times do I simply need to stop and ask where is this pain coming from, really?

STOP.

 

Q for you: How’s  your “vision”?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited


Guard your heart

Something happened today. It was only a little thing.

But it hurt my heart just a bit.

Wasn’t directed at me. Didn’t even really involve me.

But I suppose that was the problem. (I’m purposefully staying vague here.)

As I brought my little pang of pain to the Lord this phrase came into my mind out of Proverbs: “Guard your heart for out of it comes everything.” (my paraphrase!)

I know that my response needs to be to “guard my heart”… because the response of my heart will determine my thoughts, and later, my actions.

I need to guard my heart from taking on offense; I need to choose to not dwell there, in that little tiny bit of pain that creeped in.

Mmmm, yes.

I was then reminded of the verse in Phillipians that talks about not being anxious for anything but instead with prayer and thanksgiving bringing my requests to God. For if I do, the peace of Christ will guard my heart.

I’m so glad that this “guarding my heart” business is not all my responsiblity. Yes, I have my part to play… but so does Jesus (the Peace-Bringer).

I guard it. He guards it.

Between the two of us we should pretty much have it covered.

That deosn’t mean it’s always easy.

Most of the time the “my part” can be a little bit hard. (And get in the way of the “his part”.)

But with time and maturity and fear of hte Lord it does get easier.

So tonight I’m guarding my heart in the litle things. Making sure that I don’t take on offense unnessesarily. Making sure that I don’t judge someone else’s actions (or intentions, which I can’t fully know anyway, right??). Making sure that I don’t find my worth in the gestures of people, but instead in the greatest gesture of God.

What is it? That greatest of gestures? It’s gift of his Son, his very self, and the presence of his Spirit.

Tonight, he gets my heart. So glad he knows how to guard it well.

STOP.

 

Q for you: How do you guard your heart? Have you ever thought about this concept?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited.