Tag Archives: stay-at-home-mom

A fifteen hour work day. Again.

At 10:00pm tonight I had finally finished with unpacking the groceries, putting away the clean dishes, loading the dirty ones in the dishwasher, finishing the laundry, and giving a quick wipe of the kitchen sink and counters.

That’s a fifteen hour work day right there. And that’s not including checking or responding to emails or anything ‘admin’ related. (Or personal stuff – like writing here on my wee blog!)

I’m not saying that to complain (though sometimes I desperately want to complain about it).

I’m saying it because I used to think it really sucked when I had to work late – until 6:00 or 7:00pm.

And now here I am at 10:00pm and I’m just now sitting down alone for the first time today. (When your job is like mine you work through your “lunch break” on a daily basis.)

The thought of sitting down in the evenings and zoning out in front of the telly is very appealing, but even that seems hard to come by these days.

I’m not sure why it’s taken me almost 2.5 years, but I think I’m just now figuring out how different my life really is since having kids.

I’m just now figuring out that I actually can’t compare it to “life before” when it comes to work hours and down time or else I just get depressed!

I wouldn’t trade my job if I could. Really.

But it is hard, and tiring, and consuming.

I have days (like yesterday) when I’m ready to call up a day care centre and see how much it costs to send the kids there. Seriously.

While at the same time I know what an absolute privilege it is that I’m able to stay home with my kids. (Something not every mom who desires to is able to do.)

I’m blessed. Tired, and blessed.

(And for the record, I know that everyone has days they want to quit their job. Being a SAHM isn’t any different – I realize that.)

Anyway.

Tomorrow morning I will get up and start all over again.

Rejoice!

STOP.

 

Q for you: Are you a SAHM? If so, are you deliberate about “clocking off” at a certain hour? Or do you find yourself pulling lots of late nights like me? How do you build in margin??

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited

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When I just want to workworkwork

Some days, when all I really want to do is work. work. work., what I actually need most is to play.

There’s a very real part of me that feels the need to accomplish.

I’ve wondered if this is a negative thing – a drive to perform or a search for worth.

But I’ve decided it’s not. I feel free of those traps.

I’m an achiever, an activator, a make-it-happen sort of person. And I’m realizing that, by personality, this need to accomplish will never go away. It’s part of who I am.

And it’s not a bad part. It’s good.

I just need to know when to say when and realize that during this season, even though my wiring hasn’t changed, I have to change my expectations of what that looks like.

Because my reality is very much taken over by little boys who need a present mama.

(And that’s a good thing. I love them, so. And I want to be with.)

So on days like today when I want to workworkwork, I find it best to get in the car and gogogo. Get out of the house (and away from the pull of THE LIST) and go play.

As much as I love making things happen and accomplishing, I’m pretty sure I won’t be sending my kids off to school in a few years time thinking I wish I had accomplished more while they were home with me.

I also don’t want to be thinking I wish I had played and enjoyed them more.

It’s a learning process. Old habits die hard, but new ones can–and will–be formed.

And they are. Being formed.

STOP.

 

Q for you: What are you working to prioritize at the moment?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited


Writing behind the scenes

There are so many reasons I write.

I love the creative aspect of writing. I love the way my brain works when I’m on the keyboard.

I love words. And rhythm. And piecing ideas together.

I love trying to make something–art or instruction–that is beautiful or enjoyable or sometiemes just plain useful to someone.

What many people don’t know is that I probably write offline far more than I write online. And between my six–yes six–blogs, I write a lot. (Only three of those blogs are public, mind you.)

BUt actually, much of my writing happens in emails. Just good old fashioned one-on-one, person-to-person emails. (“Old fashioned” – heh heh.)

Almost daily I get an email from someone who is asking for advice or prayer or encouragement, or who simply wants to share (and be affirmed in) an experience. Many of them are old students of mine. Some are friends, or friends of friends. Some I’ve met through blogging. And some seem to appear out of nowhere.

it’s an incredible opportunity to use what I love (writing) to be a blessing.

I don’t get paid for it. I don’t get famous from it. I don’t have anything to show for it.

But I love it.

Why? Because it’s tangible. I know I can help people… and I want to.

Yes, I can share my (at times limited) life and experiences… but more importantly I can point them to God, the One who gives life.

it’s a very private ministry, and extremely hard to quantify, but it’s a very valid one too.

The only problem comes when people ask me “what do I do?” (as in my work). I sometimes stumble over this question and usually just say I’m a stay-at-home-mom (plenty of work right there, folks!) and a part-time teacher. (Which is true.)

“Oh, and I write” I sometimes throw in there.

But mostly? Mostly I’m just me. Without a title. Trying my best to use what God’s given me to help out the next girl.

STOP.

 

Q for you: Is your “work” easily quantifiable?

 

Love,
A

p.s. I’m not always able to do it straight away, but I always try to make time to respond to emails and private messages.

p.s.s. I just realized that I was talking about emails as if they’re not online. Haha, oops. I suppose I should’ve talked about “public and private” instead of just on/off-line writing. I guess that’s what I get for writing without much forethought and with no editing! 🙂

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited


A very magical, very normal moment of clarity

It was 8:30am and I still sat in bed with just my undies and a tank top on.

The curtains were drawn wide, the windows open – floor to ceiling luvers – tons of light pouring in. Slight breeze.

Chris Chabot played on the little stereo on our bedhead just next to a cup of fresh coffee.

Judah was next to me, giggling and chatting. Levi was climbing on and off the bed – playing with Judah, saying “watch mommy” as he showed me whatever impressive feat he was trying out next and intermittently giving spontaneous hugs and kisses to little brother.

I was still sleepy but I was so, so happy.

There wasn’t anything magical about those moments… not magical in the “wow” sense of the word at least. But magical in the it’s-beautiful-just-as-it-is-in-this-very-normal-moment sort of way.

“I’m so glad to be a stay-at-home-mom,” I thought to myself.

Lately I’ve been having lots of moments that are very much, um, how shall I say…? opposite to that.

But as babies have been getting healthier and I have been getting a little more sleep… the demands of my “job” haven’t seemed as draining as tehy sometimes do.

And this morning I was remembering what an incredible privilege I have to be home wiht my boys instead of in an office somewhere. As hard as 24/7 childcare can sometimes feel (and it’s so much more than “childcare” – yes, I know that), it’s also so wonderfully rich and rewarding… and fun.

As long as we can stop for little moments and remember to breathe deeply and appreciate it for what it is.

Which was Exactly what I was doing htis morning.

STOP.

 

Q for you: When is the last time you took a moment to be grateful for your job?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited


And then he threw up on me

It wasn’t like him.

Wanting to be held. Sitting still. Needing mama so much.

I knew he wasn’t feeling well today… but today was the first day he was able to articulate what was wrong.

His tummy hurt.

Poor little guy.

He pointed to his chubby little tum and said “owie” and got a really, really sad face.

And then he threw up on me.

Ok, he didn’t really throw up on me. (But that would make for a better story, wouldn’t it?) He just threw up on himself and on the floor.

he did, however let me hold him and rock him to sleep for a second nap. (He hasn’t taken two naps a day for a year.)

I was only wishing that my day wasn’t so busy, that Judah wasn’t also out-of sorts and needing to be held constantly.

How wonderful it would ahve been just to hold him, cuddle him, and stay there until he woke up. (My first baby.)

But dinner was on the stove. Judah was crying. Life was still happening.

So I had to put him down to sleep on his own, rub the tired from my own eyes, step up to the plate, and be mom. (Make it all happen.)

And now that he’s all tucked up in bed for the night, all I really want to do is go scoop him out again and sit there with him in my arms, burying my face in his messy hair.

My baby let me rock him so sleep today.

I never did get to fulfill my promise to him to splash around in the pool, even though I wore my swim suit all day long.

I hope he feels better tomorrow. (If so, we’ll try again for the pool.)

I also hope he’ll let me cuddle him again too.

STOP.

 

Q for you: When is the last time sickness threw you for a loop?

 

Love,
A

P.S. Happy Valentines Day.

 

Click Clink Five is a blog by Adriel Booker. | Five minutes a day, unedited. | 2012 All rights reserved. | Adriel also writes on parenting and motherhood at The Mommyhood Memos.


Putting on my home manager’s hat

This year I decided to make my new year’s goals public.

I did that because I thought it would be good for me. I thought it might make them more real, help me to be accountable, and… maybe my pride (not wanting to fail publically) would help me follow through.

The good thing abotu goals is that they are something you work towards.

I dsort of think of resolutions as something you have to do right, right off the bat. And if yo fail, well then, you fail. (Who likes to fail?)

Whereas goals you work toward.

You see, if’ I’ve met all my goals byt eh end of the year then great. I win.

If I meet them sooner (and stick to them) well then I win even bigger.

But either way it’s totally achievable that i can win. I mean grow. That’s what i really want – to grow. (And to win.)

One of my goals is to get better organized when it comes to household stuff.

I’m naturally fairly organized. But I’m not a natural housewife, er, home manager.

By nature I’m a home winger. (Um, that means I wing it. Yes, I made that up.)

I stayed up late tonight working on charts and lists and all sorts of things to help me be more organized. I made three weeks worth of menus, including shopping lists. i made a weekly cleaning chart. A monthly cleaning chart. A daily planner with some goals in it. (ie shower and eat and make my bed and star the laundry before 10am each mrning. I know, profound, right? Baby steps people.)

I spent four hours getting organized. Four. Hours.

Hard, but good. Ithink it will help me simplify int he long run, which is what i want.

problem is I failed at one of my goals int eh process.

You see, one of my other goals is to go to bed by 10:30 each night… except for the ratre exception where I stay up later on purpose.

I guess maybe tonight i could say it was on purpose.

but really, it wasn’t. I had ano idea a few lists and charts would take me four hours.

Four hours.

And now my time is up.

Time’s up, and I’m tired.

But at least I’m organized.

STOP.

 

Q for you: What do you do/use to help you with your home organization?

 

Love,
A

P.S. No, that photo has nothing to do with this post. I just thought it was time for a photo and this was what I took on my phone today.

 

Click Clink Five is a blog by Adriel Booker. | Five minutes a day, unedited. | 2012 All rights reserved. | Adriel also writes on parenting and motherhood at The Mommyhood Memos.


The day off I didn’t have

It’s been a big week:

Babies.

Toddlers.

Growth spurts.

The big D.

Tantrums.

Hot, humid days.

Full plates.

Long lists.

Waking babies and insomniac mommies.

Emails.

Lists.

Meetings.

Responsibilities.

Good-byes.

Hellos.

Short naps. Long naps.

Fasting (out of necessity, not choice).

Did I mention the big D?

I’ve been grumpy for much of the week. Sick, tired, and grumpy… and trying not to be.

Cuz a grumpy mommy is no fun for sweet kiddos or lovely husbands.

Being sick made me lose my mothering mojo. I lost my groove. I misplaced my stellar.

I had moments of wanting to trade them in. (Shhh, don’t tell.(

But today helped turn things around.

Today Ryan watched the boys while I holed up in my office and worked. Worked all. day. long. on stuff that’s been piling up. (He even delivered an enormous sandwich – my own personal take-out – without me putting an order in.)

It was glorious.

I felt like such a grown-up, doing grown-up things and listenting to grown-up music and using my grown-up brain.

Turns out I didn’t need a day off at all.

I just needed a day… that was different from the norm.

It’s true what they say: sometimes the best vacation is change.

STOP.

 

Q for you: When is the last time you had a day of change?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five is a blog by Adriel Booker. | Five minutes a day, unedited. | 2012 All rights reserved. | Adriel also writes on parenting and motherhood at The Mommyhood Memos.