A fifteen hour work day. Again.

At 10:00pm tonight I had finally finished with unpacking the groceries, putting away the clean dishes, loading the dirty ones in the dishwasher, finishing the laundry, and giving a quick wipe of the kitchen sink and counters.

That’s a fifteen hour work day right there. And that’s not including checking or responding to emails or anything ‘admin’ related. (Or personal stuff – like writing here on my wee blog!)

I’m not saying that to complain (though sometimes I desperately want to complain about it).

I’m saying it because I used to think it really sucked when I had to work late – until 6:00 or 7:00pm.

And now here I am at 10:00pm and I’m just now sitting down alone for the first time today. (When your job is like mine you work through your “lunch break” on a daily basis.)

The thought of sitting down in the evenings and zoning out in front of the telly is very appealing, but even that seems hard to come by these days.

I’m not sure why it’s taken me almost 2.5 years, but I think I’m just now figuring out how different my life really is since having kids.

I’m just now figuring out that I actually can’t compare it to “life before” when it comes to work hours and down time or else I just get depressed!

I wouldn’t trade my job if I could. Really.

But it is hard, and tiring, and consuming.

I have days (like yesterday) when I’m ready to call up a day care centre and see how much it costs to send the kids there. Seriously.

While at the same time I know what an absolute privilege it is that I’m able to stay home with my kids. (Something not every mom who desires to is able to do.)

I’m blessed. Tired, and blessed.

(And for the record, I know that everyone has days they want to quit their job. Being a SAHM isn’t any different – I realize that.)

Anyway.

Tomorrow morning I will get up and start all over again.

Rejoice!

STOP.

 

Q for you: Are you a SAHM? If so, are you deliberate about “clocking off” at a certain hour? Or do you find yourself pulling lots of late nights like me? How do you build in margin??

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited. 

A very magical, very normal moment of clarity

It was 8:30am and I still sat in bed with just my undies and a tank top on.

The curtains were drawn wide, the windows open – floor to ceiling luvers – tons of light pouring in. Slight breeze.

Chris Chabot played on the little stereo on our bedhead just next to a cup of fresh coffee.

Judah was next to me, giggling and chatting. Levi was climbing on and off the bed – playing with Judah, saying “watch mommy” as he showed me whatever impressive feat he was trying out next and intermittently giving spontaneous hugs and kisses to little brother.

I was still sleepy but I was so, so happy.

There wasn’t anything magical about those moments… not magical in the “wow” sense of the word at least. But magical in the it’s-beautiful-just-as-it-is-in-this-very-normal-moment sort of way.

“I’m so glad to be a stay-at-home-mom,” I thought to myself.

Lately I’ve been having lots of moments that are very much, um, how shall I say…? opposite to that.

But as babies have been getting healthier and I have been getting a little more sleep… the demands of my “job” haven’t seemed as draining as tehy sometimes do.

And this morning I was remembering what an incredible privilege I have to be home wiht my boys instead of in an office somewhere. As hard as 24/7 childcare can sometimes feel (and it’s so much more than “childcare” – yes, I know that), it’s also so wonderfully rich and rewarding… and fun.

As long as we can stop for little moments and remember to breathe deeply and appreciate it for what it is.

Which was Exactly what I was doing htis morning.

STOP.

 

Q for you: When is the last time you took a moment to be grateful for your job?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | Five minutes a day, unedited. 

Is it worth trading a day of your life?

I read this quote on Pinterest the other day. It said something like: “What are you going to do today? Is it worth trading a day of your life for?”

Wow.

How’s that for a reality check?

Truthfully, there are many days where I’m not living well, as in living intentionally, living on purpose, living in the fullness of life that’s available to me.

Too often, I’m doing my best to balance and juggle and survive…

Can I make it to nap time? Can we just get through the dinner hour? Oh bedtime, where are you? Oh WEEKEND where are you?

But this—this apple-slicing, block-stacking, bum-wiping, shoe-tying, laundry-folding, dishwasher-loading day—is reality. (My current reality at least.)

It is life in motion. Already happening. Not waiting for anyone.

I don’t like to get to the end of the week and think, what exactly did I do?

Granted, being an at-home mom makes my successes difficult to quantify, but even if I can’t see immediate fruti of my labor and investment, I still have a fairly good idea whether I’m doing a good job living or not.

So this is something I’m constantly working on. Or maybe even not working at, but trying to rest in…. This grace that comes from actually being present in the moment. Living my days on purpose.

I want to be an old lady that looks back on life and says, Mmmmmm, that was one glorious life I lived.

But I also want to be a young woman saying the same thing.

What have I done today that was worth trading a day of my life for? And what about tomorrow?

 

STOP.

 

Q for you: How are you spending your days? Is what you did today worth trading a day of your life for?

 

Love,
A

 

Click Clink Five | five minutes a day, unedited
Adriel also writes on parenting & motherhood at The Mommyhood Memos.

 

And then he threw up on me

It wasn’t like him.

Wanting to be held. Sitting still. Needing mama so much.

I knew he wasn’t feeling well today… but today was the first day he was able to articulate what was wrong.

His tummy hurt.

Poor little guy.

He pointed to his chubby little tum and said “owie” and got a really, really sad face.

And then he threw up on me.

Ok, he didn’t really throw up on me. (But that would make for a better story, wouldn’t it?) He just threw up on himself and on the floor.

he did, however let me hold him and rock him to sleep for a second nap. (He hasn’t taken two naps a day for a year.)

I was only wishing that my day wasn’t so busy, that Judah wasn’t also out-of sorts and needing to be held constantly.

How wonderful it would ahve been just to hold him, cuddle him, and stay there until he woke up. (My first baby.)

But dinner was on the stove. Judah was crying. Life was still happening.

So I had to put him down to sleep on his own, rub the tired from my own eyes, step up to the plate, and be mom. (Make it all happen.)

And now that he’s all tucked up in bed for the night, all I really want to do is go scoop him out again and sit there with him in my arms, burying my face in his messy hair.

My baby let me rock him so sleep today.

I never did get to fulfill my promise to him to splash around in the pool, even though I wore my swim suit all day long.

I hope he feels better tomorrow. (If so, we’ll try again for the pool.)

I also hope he’ll let me cuddle him again too.

STOP.

 

Q for you: When is the last time sickness threw you for a loop?

 

Love,
A

P.S. Happy Valentines Day.

 

Click Clink Five is a blog by Adriel Booker. | Five minutes a day, unedited. | 2012 All rights reserved. | Adriel also writes on parenting and motherhood at The Mommyhood Memos.

Putting on my home manager’s hat

This year I decided to make my new year’s goals public.

I did that because I thought it would be good for me. I thought it might make them more real, help me to be accountable, and… maybe my pride (not wanting to fail publically) would help me follow through.

The good thing abotu goals is that they are something you work towards.

I dsort of think of resolutions as something you have to do right, right off the bat. And if yo fail, well then, you fail. (Who likes to fail?)

Whereas goals you work toward.

You see, if’ I’ve met all my goals byt eh end of the year then great. I win.

If I meet them sooner (and stick to them) well then I win even bigger.

But either way it’s totally achievable that i can win. I mean grow. That’s what i really want – to grow. (And to win.)

One of my goals is to get better organized when it comes to household stuff.

I’m naturally fairly organized. But I’m not a natural housewife, er, home manager.

By nature I’m a home winger. (Um, that means I wing it. Yes, I made that up.)

I stayed up late tonight working on charts and lists and all sorts of things to help me be more organized. I made three weeks worth of menus, including shopping lists. i made a weekly cleaning chart. A monthly cleaning chart. A daily planner with some goals in it. (ie shower and eat and make my bed and star the laundry before 10am each mrning. I know, profound, right? Baby steps people.)

I spent four hours getting organized. Four. Hours.

Hard, but good. Ithink it will help me simplify int he long run, which is what i want.

problem is I failed at one of my goals int eh process.

You see, one of my other goals is to go to bed by 10:30 each night… except for the ratre exception where I stay up later on purpose.

I guess maybe tonight i could say it was on purpose.

but really, it wasn’t. I had ano idea a few lists and charts would take me four hours.

Four hours.

And now my time is up.

Time’s up, and I’m tired.

But at least I’m organized.

STOP.

 

Q for you: What do you do/use to help you with your home organization?

 

Love,
A

P.S. No, that photo has nothing to do with this post. I just thought it was time for a photo and this was what I took on my phone today.

 

Click Clink Five is a blog by Adriel Booker. | Five minutes a day, unedited. | 2012 All rights reserved. | Adriel also writes on parenting and motherhood at The Mommyhood Memos.